Grit and determination is not a skill that can be taught. it’s a trait, a passion for a particular long-term goal or end state, coupled with the motivation to achieve the respective objective. This perseverance and effort to overcome obstacles and challenges that lie on our paths to accomplishment, serves as a driving force in achievement of the goal.
I have always recognized this as one of my core traits, relying on it for success. It allowed me to work through a successful career with the world’s leading Real Estate developer on some of the most prestigious projects in the world, got me through my first successful Dubai marathon 4 years ago and allowed us to negotiate one of the largest insurance claim settlements in the shortest time frame for a building ravaged by fire. Now, I need to keep this trait focused on me. Grit and determination when the change process is clear and the end result will be beautiful and tangible, ( no matter how often change occurs ) is straightforward, focusing when change and loss are continuous and the end state is one you would like to avoid. This is far more challenging than anticipated.
365 days ago ALS invaded my Motor Cortex like a well trained sniper and slowly started to pick off neuron by neuron. At first the loss of clusters of neurons was a manageable inconvenience. Undeterred, I went about managing the smallest changes. Determined not to allow these to define me, I focused on work, family and strength. Adding a walking stick allowed me to maintain mobility, adding medications kept the emotional incontinence at bay, allowing me to continue pursuing my passion for development. It wasn’t long before larger clusters started to be decimated, leading to more loss. A walker rollator was acquired, and with determination, life continued. All the while, the snipers range and support increased. To stop the enslaught, we deployed a weapon of mass destruction (good thing Bush and Blair are no longer in power), Edaravone. A relentless assault ensued, 20 days on and 10 days off. The only problem, unlike WMD, the results are not evident and the loss continued. The ability to sketch (which I considered my 3rd language) and write neatly was the next to go. My primary language to communicate with Architects and designers was eradicated over night. Never mind, I still had a strong command of design language and vocabulary – or so I thought. During a design evaluation one morning, I started to describe what I wanted, “dawzdecozpan aaliggn wihdde cownsep.” Silence! Thankfully one of the team members understood the code and to the relief of the others translated it. The use of a smart phone or laptop with clumsy fingers as a means of communication was also impossible. It was once again time to summon determination and start using an augmented communication device, the voice that defined me for 46 years was gone forever! Excitement, anger, intimacy, spontaneity, all vocal emotion gone! The more incoherent I was the more quizzical the expressions would be, followed by ‘uhuh, sorry can you repeat that. ‘ A clear indicator of misunderstanding. Thanks to determination of others before me the Tobii Dynavox EyeMobile Plus coupled with innovative software will allow me to continue communication, albeit void of vocal emotion. A desire to lead a healthy independent life was still kicking and screaming inside.
Naturally the decimation of neurons was not selective and could not be controlled, the reality is that it is so random that the symptoms and cause for determination are always changing. As a result mobility was now down to a clumsy unbalanced square dance with 2 or more partners, every action now required 2 or more willing participants. A trip to a mall usually resulted in some poor unsuspecting passersby being roped in to assist in lifting my heavy frame from wheelchair to Jeep. Wheelchair was now fast becoming the permanent mode of transport. With clumsy, failing hands and weaker arms the only viable option is an electric wheelchair, roll in the Quantum Edge I-Level Or Zoom Zoom as we now call it. What it should be called is “Megaladon!” Weighing in at 130 kg, and 150 cm tall, it poses a set of its own challenges. Transportation! A customized van with a rear hatch or side door high enough to accommodate me in the chair will be needed to get around. With determination, we set out to resolve the next set of challenges. Yet again, DETERMINATION is required.
Recently, His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum declared that people with special needs will be referred to as, ‘people of determination.’ The intention is clear and admirable, however, over the last 365 days living with continually changing special needs, I have been allowed to reflect on this. Determination and Grit are such strong, almost aggressive, singular descriptions that we almost forget about others. The reality is, that an army with determination, is required to manage change and the challenges that come with it. The person of determination needs to display traits of courage, empathy and most of all resilience, grace and understanding. I’m not saying we need to become Mahatma Gandhi, What I am saying, is that I’ve realized that with out these traits, grit and determination promote self preservation. Combined with the other traits, I becomes the We, singular becomes many, and no amount of change is difficult to manage. I wish I’d learnt this earlier in my life. If I had, change would have been managed better. All that is left to say is thank you to my army! Together we will fall down seven times and stand up 8. (Thanks Craig)
#ChallengeALSDXB
Antoinette
Well done Peter. I am so proud of you for typing this blog with your EYES. No Hands. So grateful for your Tobii Eye mobile tracking device. With this device we will always be able to communicate.
Love you always.
Maria
That is nothing but impressive! As always you continue to amaze and find ways. So happy for you to be able to continue to communicate.
Seth Matson
Peter, thank you as always for sharing.
Jonathan Robinson
Well written Peter, it is honestly a pleasure working with you and all your family. With all the physical challenges that keep getting thrown at you, every physiotherapy session is met with positivity and determination that is truly inspiring to me.
Karen
With all the changes you are constantly going through one thing for certain that is not going to change is your determination and grit and your humor as well. A true inspiration to all who know you.
Judithiris
Yeah finished at last 😂😂 you young man are the most amazing person, your absolute determination in dealing with ALS is awe inspiring and through all of this you still have a wonderful sense of humour.
I have watched you write this with your eyes and am amazed at the technology that is available to help you and others with ALS most of all l feel very privileged to be your Aunt and be a part of the Army that will always love and support you, Antoinette and Tallulah in anyway l can . ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Kat
My brother you are still a man with many words…. Alway were and always will be the “walking dictionary”
So proud of you, I love reading your blogs, you might not have a voice but I still hear peter in your writing ..I just love your wit and who you are.
Love you so much …
Old Goose
Twice in one day I have heard ‘ Together we will fall down 7 times and stand up 8 times ‘. Your blog and the speech at the closing ceremony of the Winter Olympics. I need to take note………….
For two months I quietly watched your grit and determination as you battle the onslaught of ALS.
We have square danced with you, We have been your PA on a couple of occasions (with many, sorry please repeat) We tried to brush your teeth (which ended in a shower of toothpaste) and many other chores not mentioned. I became a small part of your army , I am not sure if I have any of the Mahatma Ghandi traits , your Aunty Judi would probably mention Mother Theresa lol . One thing I do know with absolute certainty is everything that I do for you , Antoinette & Tallulah is done with all the unconditional love that this mother / grandmother has to give.
This Corporal must have earned a couple of stripes, especially for the toothbrush duty.🙄 Perhaps promotion to Lance Corporal when next on Army duty. 💂♀️💂♀️💂♀️
You are always in my thoughts, I love you all to the moon and beyond.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Debbie
Knowing what to say to you after reading this message, does not come easily, but Live love and leave a legacy are three things Steven Covey talks about Peter. All I can say is Yours and Antoinette’s joint legacy of love, determination, courage and conviction lives on in your beautiful, smart kind and compassionate angel Tallulah.
Walking this journey with you, where your determination and courage has been a life lesson to me, is an absolute privilege. Watching you take on each hurdle with renewed energy and courage is heartwarming and a lesson I will never forget and will pass onto my friends and family. You are an inspiration, and so are you Antoinette as you changed roles from the trooper to the captain overnight and had to learn and adapt with courage and determination of a different kind.
What an outstanding example you both are to all who know you ❤️
We love you all so darn much
Kowie
Peter,
We admire your absolute grit and determination. The trait is your inner strength that motivates you to be brave and determined to overcome every new challenge that comes on your life’s journey.
The “end state” does not have to be difficult, but rather a joyous event that you can have in your possession Now and each day that lies ahead.
May I add the word “faith” in helping you to achieve your everlasting peace and joy. Please find herewith some extracts from quotations emphasizing the power of faith:
– The just shall live by FAITH.
– When you fall into various trials, knowing that the
testing of your FAITH produces patience.
– Stand fast in the FAITH, be brave, be strong.
– FAITH is the substance of things hoped for, the
evidence of things not seen.
– Your FAITH should not be in the wisdom of men but in
the power of God.
– Taking the shield of FAITH with which you will be able
to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.
– That we might receive the promise of the Spirit
through FAITH.
– The prayer of FAITH will save the sick.
– This is the victory that has overcome the world – our
FAITH.
– If you have FAITH of a mustard seed, nothing will be
Impossible for you.
– Fight the good fight of FAITH, lay hold on eternal life.
– Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you
rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
receiving the end of your FAITH – the salvation of your
soul.
– I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race,
I have kept the FAITH. Finally, there is laid up for me
the crown of righteousness, wich The Lord, will give
to me on that Day.